Each 1, Reach 1, Teach 1, Then Choke if Necessary!!

H'Oprah Tried To Help, Now It's Up To The Lawd!

2008-09-21T20:37:00.002-04:00

I'm almost sure this is what my little Boxtox'd beloved baby looked like when he was caught yet again...sigh

It seems Mikey was was arrested in possession of druuuuugs in the public bathroom-but this time he ~~got off~~ was let go with a 'caution' for possession of A & C Drugs. Mz. Faux Maya don't know what the difference iz between an A drug and a C drug...*shrugging my shouldas* source

An illegal drug is an illegal drug-don't matter what alphabet it begans with.

Seriously, George Michael is the British Robert Downey Jr (pre-sobriety) of H'Oprah's ~~clique~~ group of friends. It takes all kinds, pray tell.

H'Oprah has extended an invitation to Mikey to go to rehab more times than the gray hair on this ole lady's head! Y'all seen me-I'm white headed! lol

I digress beloveds. We love Mikey-but he'll have to give up the drugs when he's ready.

I'd sho' hate to add him ass a bad azz kid-but I will not hesitate to add him as a 'you know ur azz is too old bad azz kid!'

DRUGS ARE BAD, MIKEY!

Get some help-resolve ur past issues and move forward!

Get it together, Mikey and take ur friend Amy with you!

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Why Must My Soul Cry???

2008-09-19T18:00:00.003-04:00

Hey babies! Oh, Mz. Faux Maya had to get away and have some 'me-time!'

ohhh lawdy!

I tell you, I travelled the chitlin' circuit just bcuz and I have neva eva seen chirren so mannerable in my entiiiiire life.

And then.

I come back home.

To.

Trash.

You know, in the past I've been hard on H'oprah for not wanting to fool around with ignant niccas, but after seeing this trash-I'm going to give H'Oprah '5 on the black-hand side' when she comes over tonight.

Mmmmhmmm oh yes I am.

I'm sorry babies, but Mz. Faux Maya has no room for decorum tonight, I'm going to get as my baby Bria likes to say, 'CRUNK.'

Oh chile, I am seriously considering renouncing my citizenship to go live with some Aborigines in Australia, write books, put shrimp on the barbie and go a couple of rounds with a 'Roo.

Anythang, and yes my beloveds I said ANYTHANG-is better

than coming home to my computer and seeing these mini-devils following the marching orders of an ignant she-devil.

Babies, if Mz. Faux Maya had a James Evans (from Good Times) leather belt- those pickaninny, BET, jailbound mini-heffas and that camera wielding hoodrat would have welts upside one and downside the other on their azzes!!

*fanning myself*

Lawd..why did u let these people take prayer outta school?

Lawd why did you let these street pharmacies intro crack into the neighborhoods?

Cuz these female devils are obviously suffering residual effects from that devilish crack cocaine!!

Oh help me to hold on lawd, HELP ME I pray to u! I pray to U...I pray ...to U!!

Babies, look at this video-and think about Bill Cosby.

Beloveds this is the dirty laundry he's talking about.

Where's the soap and bleach, so I can clean these mini-heffas mouths out??

oh help me, lawd..help me!

watch the video beloveds...I feel a fast comin' on.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am,

Black Celebrity Kids...

2008-09-11T00:10:00.002-04:00

You know?

I was downright sad, as I looked off of my porch-sippin' on my favorite drank, my Raspberry Mango Lemonade. mm mm mmm

I looked ova yonder, and I got plum down cuz I started to think on some things.

Such as, my Arthur will be kickin' and screamin' upon me directly once the cold weather steers around the corner.

Oh yes, it's painnnnful trying to get out of bed, but I presses my way. Yes lawdy, I presses my way.

I was also thinking how can I sneak outta town, without H'Oprah breathin' down my neck.

sigh smh

Well never you mind, I'll worry about that later.

I discovered a delightful sight, when my babygirl Bria was Twittering. It slips my mind that I have that devil may Twitter too.

I'll just wait for Bria to pass me twitter updates, but anyways...Bria told me about a delightful sight, that just makes my heart glad.

It's called Black Celebrity Kids

Ohhh chile, who knew famous black people had that many chirren??

One was eeeeenuf for me, chile.

But anyways, be a dear and check out that site.

It's kept up real nice, you'll like it.

I have to go and watch TVLand now.

Mama's Family's coming on.

I love you babies, I really do.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

I Believe That Chirren Are Our Future...DRESS THEM WELL and let them lead the way...

2008-09-05T01:28:00.003-04:00

Let me, Mz. Faux Maya Angelou say this:

I LOVE BEING BLACK.

African American

Afro American

Brown-skinned

Hell, I'll even let you get away with calling me color'd on a good day.

Howeva, Mz. Faux heart is achin as she ask this question:

WHAT ABOUT OUR CHILDREN??

Have you eva heard Mz. Fauz Maya cuss a blue streak?

No you haven't.

And that is because I do not want to shame my heavenly Father.

Howeverrrrrrr.

I think in this instance, He definitely understands:

It is NOT this chile's fault that it looks like her hair has multiple personalities.

It is also not this baby's fault that the beads in her originated n the 70's and the negro who braided her was waiting for an occasion to pull those beads out of her junk drawer.

It is ALSO not this baby's fault for having the petrified look on her face.

My people perish for lack of knowledge...smh

She is either A) scared of getting in trouble because she stood still for this picture.

B) she knows the cruel person who took this picture was going to post it online.

That poor baby looks like a 40 yr old woman in a 2yr old body.

See H'Oprah does not allow me to look at picture like these because of my heart. I can't take it.

I can't take it.

U know, Mz. Faux is gooooood at reading peoples.

I bet this chile looks EXACTLY like her mama.

I'm sorry babies, I'm upset and I must go pray for myself.

I must pray, NOW.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Spokesperson for Bad Azz Kids Has What?!

2008-09-04T07:29:00.004-04:00

My word.

Faux Maya goes away for a little while and comes back to all of this Mmm mmm mmmm

It seems our resident bad azz kid Kwame Kilpatrick,has accepted a plea-is what they call it-and won't be runnin' Detroit into the ground anymore.

Mz. Faux Maya remembers like yesterday how her and her cuz'n Junebug would go to Detroit every summer and just cut up a rug.

lol

Ohhh those folks sho' knew how to party with their shiny shoes, and shiny hair, and shiny cars.

I would always say,' those folks are some shiny folks, friendly but shiny!'

well my baby Bria told me that boy is going to stop being mayor (he volunatarily sat himself down), says he's guilty of only 2 felonies not 10 (mz. faux will not judge lest i be judged), has to pay one million dollars (hold on let me see if i'm reading this print correctly. brb)

Yes ma'am, that boy has to pay $1 million dollars back to the city.

Now it's been awhile since Mz. Faux's been in school as a student, but didn't the city have to pay about 9x's that amount in lawsuits for that knuckle head?

He cannot run for anything for 5 years. Well I believe the likes of him shouldn't ever be able to run for anything unless he's running to the store for an emergency. source

Well I am not surprised at then news. Mama boys do not usually fare well on their own.

Kwame 'spose to go to court today and tell the judge he accepts his plead.

Why lookey there, I just saw pigs fly past my winda,

and it looks as if hell has finally frozen over.

Glory, Glory

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Babies All In The News..

2008-08-26T16:24:00.002-04:00

Beloveds, babies have been all up in the news-do u hear me?

Let's start with the good, ok babies?

Ok now...first up we have lil' man, whose name is Jericho Scott...has been told he cannot play baseball bcuz he pitches too fast.

Too fast? Well hell, maybe those otha chirren are too devilish slow! I'dda think thats a reflection of the coach nurturin' Jericho's God-given gift!

When an opposing team found out lil Jericho was going to pitch, they packed and defaulted the game!

heeeeee heeeeee that's a funny right there!

It's not that baby's fault he pitches at a speed of 40mph! TELL IT TO GAWWWDDD!!

Jericho, Faux Maya has this to say:

You have the name, You have the gift-NOW TEAR THOSE WALLS DOWN!!!!

amen? amen. please don't make Granny Faux Maya put the preachin' hat on. It's only Tuesday, babies.

Next up is the bad.

Dr. Dre...city of Compton, Dr. Dre (yeah Granny Faux Maya, knows about him) and family are mourning the loss of their 20y/o son, Andre Jr.

Goodness gracious, me-o-my.

This little angel was found unconscious in their home. Can you ~~imagi~~ honey, Faux Maya's head just don't want to go there.

Never the less, we will offer the all the prayers, love and support that is needed during this trying time. *gonna lay dowwwwwnnn my burden, down by the river side, down by the river side, down by the river side, i'm gonna lay dowwwwwn my burden, (2x's) ain't gonna study war no mo') Yes lawd. Yes lawd. yes lawd.

nothin' more sadder than buryin' ur baby.

Unless we're getting to the Ugly part of this post.

smh

And these two need to just go on up and bury their careers. Who is Mz. Faux Maya talkin' about?

Mz. Faux Maya's talking about those two pitiful knuckle heads who had an audience in Australia and came off looking like a plum fool. O u still don't know?

Well one of 'em put their dirty lil wretched hands on my baby Mary J. Blige...mmmmhmmm that's right.

Those little bad cartoon character looking kids K.C. and Jo-Jo.

Mz. Faux Maya is wonderin' to herself ...what could've gone wrong with these babies that would cause their lives to be in such turmoil.

I believes they r smoking some of that whacky tobacky or worse.

that didn't look like no epipleppy to me.

My cuz Cornbread in Mississippi had Epileppy and ohhhh it was a sight to be seen.

We'd be out there pickin' cotton, or green beans-dependins on the season, and the next thing u knows, Cornbread is shaking and shivering like a laid out Elvis impersonator, right in the middle of Big Mama's veggey-tables!

ohhhh we were more worried about those corn stalks and tomatoes than ole Cornbread!

we'd just turn him on his side, stick a cob a-corn in his mouth and carry on. After a spell, he'd come around and help us finish pickin'.

So understand Mz. Faux Maya has had up close eckspear-e-ince with Epileppy. Does this look like Epileppy to you??

Those boys need to come and sit under my Uncle Cooder.

He'll cure what ails 'em.

I'm not going to tell his business. It's a well known fact once you tell Uncle Cooder's business, you're neva seen again. And I'll have too many people missing, Mz. Faux Maya.

That's all I have for you today, babies.

I'll be talking to you directly.

Faux Maya loves you, u hear?

You too, KC and Jo-Jo!

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Bad Azz Kids Aren't Born...They're Made!!!!

2008-08-23T20:07:00.004-04:00

I'm tellin' H'Oprah, and Child Protective Services!

You trollops!

This is why are kids are called dirty laundry by Bill Cosby!

Father, cover that boy so that he doesn't grow up disrespectful towards women, and lookin' for hoes such as the heffa in the pic in Jesus' name...amen.

Absolutely shameful!

source

Nasty pedos!

Being around H'Oprah's hairstylist, D'Andre has taught me a few things about wigs, weaves, extensions and hairpieces. Is that hot drizzled mess (pic #1) wearing a lacefront braided wig? Thanks, Uknowudeadazzwrong!

Lord Bless that baby, bless him indeed!

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Barack Obama & Sen. Joe Biden- President and Vice President Candidates

2008-08-23T12:48:00.006-04:00

From Bria's dwelling:

Well indeed it has been made official.

Sen. Mr. Obama has chosen Sen. Joe Biden as his VP nominee.

Delaware Sen. Joe Biden is Sen. Barack Obama's choice to be his vice-presidential running mate.

1 of 2

Well. I guess Biden is an ok guy.

I'm curious as to the selecting of Biden as his running mate.

He's gone from criticizing Obama's readiness as president to being named VP nominee.

Surely, that must've been one interesting conversation between the two.

It probably went something like this:

(pardon me beloveds, Faux Maya's going to go 'Ebonic' for a moment)

Biden enters the presidential suite at an unknown location. Obama just finished taking a swig of his black African bean coffee.

JB: Barack, how are you? you wanted to see me? (extends his hand for a handshake)

OB: Oh, that's how u gone play me JB? With a handshake? U know how we do, what's really hood??

JB: My bad. I'm trippin.' Give me some dap, BO.

(the men do the obligatory pound-pound, dap-dap, tap, twist, white/black, black/white fist shake)

BO: That's what I'm sayin.' lol (BO laughs heartily)

JB: i gotchu, I gotchu. (nodding his head up and down) For real tho' why u got me all up in heah. Streets been talkin and thang, talkin' 'bout ur VP and ish. I mean what? I know u ain't call me up in heah for suggestions,u know what i'm sayin'??

BO: lol look atchu JB, all 'noided and ish. whatchu u been smokin' on for real tho??' It ain't even like that, Wonder Bread. I just wanted to holla at my boy about the candidacy.

JB: Word, Congo? Where he at then? (lookin' around) Ur makin' me privy to some secret ish, ain't u man? (Michelle* rolls her eyes)

BO: Where he at?! I'm lookin at him fool! I'm talkin' bout u!!

(knock on the door, door opens)

BO: (acknowledges his Admin Asst., as she places papers in front of him to be signed-looks at JB) So as I was saying. Statistically, the midwesterners are tending to favor McCain, the electoral college can swing this way, and the popular vote can swing that way, and having said that...(watches Admin Asst close the door). So anyway like I was saying. I'm wonderin' if u wanna roll with ur boy? u know i do the P thang, and u do the VP thang? what's up?

JB: U want me?

BO: Yes.

JB: U want me?

BO: Yep.

JB: U want me?

BO: Affirmative.

JB: U want--

BO: Dammit! if you say it one mo' time, I swear i'm callin' Hillary my damn self!

JB: ok ok ok, sorry Congo, sorry. I can' believe this. I mean I thought u were still trippin from when I said you weren't ready to be Prez...I mean you've been quiet and ish.

BO: look mofo. ur entitled to your opinion. This is America. Land of the free and all that ish. But obviously you didn't know what the hell you were talking about! Have u looked at the voters?? They say I'M READY TO BE PREZ!

Come on damn, how hard can it be if Bush is doing it? huh?

JB: U got me there. Yeah (noddin') tru' dat, tru' dat.

BO: I know tru dat, tru dat. So check this out. We gone keep this on the DL until Saturday. Let them fools sit on ice for a min...u knowwwwImean?? So r we gone do this or what? We'll be the Ebony & Ivory of the White House, u feel me?? Can u imagine Xmas? Your loud azz Irish Catholic fam, and my loud azz african-and I mean REAL african, and american peeps under one roof. Hell, I might have Kwanzaa up in the White House next year! (Michelle gives BO dap!)

JB: I'm feelin' u, i'm feelin' u

BO: So, I'll messenger u all the details. and Wonder Bread?

JB: What up, Congo?

BO: Make sure that's the LAST TIME you speak of me unfavorably, ya dig?

JB: I dig.

BO: Cuz u don't want me to fly my African-for real African grandmother up here. She'll mix and stir some ish and your azz will fade to black. Are we clear?

NO BITCHASSNESS.

JB: That's a new one, no bitchassness.

BO: Yeah that lil' arrogant Sean Combs came up with that slogan, and i've unofficially adopted it as my own. In other words, don't be no bitch.

JB: ahhhhh, duly noted.

BO: Good. Now get ur bitch azz outta here, Wonder Bread.

JB: Getting my bitch azz outta here, Congo.

******

My beloveds...it COULD'VE happened that way.

heeee heeee

Read more about Joe Biden, here

Well beloveds.

I'm must depart now (no, not for the pearly gates, not just yet anywayz!. I must Fake Frankie, Baby Daniel and Fake Janie Combs...they're talking about whoopin on sone of Obama's peoples cuz they had to do a security check on outlandish hair weaves...and u know how Fake Frankie is,and we ain't gone talk about Fake Janice with her too old to be wearing anythang blonde behind.

Hopefully I'll be able to maintain the peace but if I see Fake Janice swinging that fake blonde hair around her shoulder as if she is Cher from her 'Gypsy, Tramps and Thieves' days, all bets are off! Not even H'Oprah, or Gina Turner has that much patience with her boudah, goudah ring a ding ding self! And I will not talk about those blasphemous contacts sittin up there on her corneas. Nope, not me-someone bets ta get ta callin Martin or Ghandi or their equivalent cuz I don't think I'll be able to take the non-violent way out.

Faux Maya is just keepin' it real, as the young people say.

Ok Beloveds, my car has pulled up and my driver who has my brass knuckles, my 20lb Bible, and shank that I paid to have smuggled out of Rykers are in his backpack, just walked thru the door.

He's looking so silly standing behind me shifting his weight on each leg as if his diaper is full and about to burst.

I'll tell H'Oprah you all said hello.

Be good, my beloveds.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

WWMACTAD??

2008-08-21T13:40:00.004-04:00

Again this week, children have my spirit vexed.

I'm not sure what has been added to the water, or what they are infusing vegetables with-but it seems to Mz. Faux Maya that the young are generally, out of their minds.

Before my dear sister, Coretta Scott King (whom I have the pleasure of sharing birthdate with) made her transition from her earthly home, we ne'er heard a peep from her offspring.

Now, notwithstanding the gospel of the arrival of the King's 1st grandchild-the King Siblings (not including Yolanda who preceded her mother in death-may she rest in peace)have been embattled in legal quagmire-amongst each other.

My beloveds-help me to understand the senselessness of it all.

My question I pose to you, my beloveds is this:

WHAT WOULD MARTIN AND CORETTA THINK AND DO?

How can the offspring of the Kings allow private issues to become public?

My word...if their parents were alive, this would SURELY KILL THEM!

It now seems the young child of the Kings, Dexter (pic'd above)-who bears an amazing striking resemblance to his father MLK Jr., has countersued his siblings Bernice & Martin III (pic'd below)for "establishing foundations in direct competition with The King Center."

Also, Dexter claims his older brother, King III used the center without permission to meet with then-presidential candidate John Edwards in January 2008. source

Two mos. ago, July 2008 news of Bernice & Martin III's lawsuit against younger brother Dexter became public, read here.

My beloveds, this riff I pray is only temporary. And I for one am glad these children's parents aren't here to witness the disrepair in their offspring's relationship.

Father help them.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, (OH) passes away...

2008-08-20T23:12:00.004-04:00

An angel has fallen.
Rep. Stephanie Tubbs, has gone on to glory to be with the Savior.
She made her transition earlier today, after sufferin' an aneurysm yesterday.
Tubbs was the first black woman to represent OH.
May she fly among the stars...

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, D-Ohio, suffered an aneurysm Tuesday evening.

1 of 2

Rep. Tubbs Jones is survived by her son. Her husband preceded her in death.

Beloveds, read the rest of the story here. I must go call H'Oprah and tell her I love her.

Read the rest of Tubbs' story, here

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits! For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

They Say it Lke It's A Bad Thing...

2008-08-20T19:04:00.002-04:00

My beloveds.

I'm from the old school.

That is no secret.

Ohhh, my beloveds i remember when I was but a sprite-yay high, and I would have the unmitigated gall to sass my Big Mama.

Just thinking about my beatings, makes me flinch still today.

My Big Mama would make me walk the long walk of death to the field.

I had to pick off the 'whoopin' tree' young branches. No less than three, and bring them back to her. My grandmother would test the branches by swinging each individual branch. The 'whooooosh' sounds those vines made would almost make me lose my 'water.' Grandmother would braid those vines together so fast your head would spin! She'd put her hand on those massive hips of hers and she would light into me verbally before lighting into my bee-hind literally. My eyes never left those braided vines that were in her right hand as she reiterated my offenses.

Which was worse?

Her disappointment in me, or the anticipation of the burning welts and stinging skin on my back?

While I did not like being punished, I do know my grandmother love me.

I bring this up because I had a nice chuckle when I read CNN's article stating more than 200,000 kids were spanked in school last year.

heeeeee heeeee

that is funny!

oh i remember when i was in 9th grade-i stood up for someone in class, and well it wasn't appreciated. I was sent to the office and the counselor wanted to lick me with a paddle.

No sirrreeeee, I saw big boys cry.

Why would I volunteer for that madness? lol

of course when it comes to getting whooped in school there are those for and against it.

I say whoop that azz!

Whoopings politically known as Corporal Punishment is legal in 21 states. It is still actively practiced in Missouri, Kentucky, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee and Florida.

Well, imagine that.

One woman's son was swatted 3 yrs ago, eventhough his mother stated in writing she did not want her son corporally punished. The letter couldn't be found. Mmmmm hmmmmm

This Is Why H'Oprah Opened A School in Antartica...

2008-08-18T19:45:00.005-04:00

Today, my spirit wails and laments.

Shaking my head, wanting to make sense.

Your poet DeLaurean has come across devastation.

Urban devastation, meant to impede the next generation.

*I'm sorry, but Mz. Faux Maya Angelou always rhymes when she's upset*

You see, I don't always read complex wordage and verbiage by authors that only Mensa members are aware of.

Believe it or not...I like the African American Celebrity Awareness sites too. It is a must as H'Oprah do not indulge in such delicacies, thus I must take it upon myself to do so.

ohhhh, but had I listened to H'Oprah JUST this one time.

smh

Mz. Faux Maya Angelou's heart cries out unto her God.

Why are the children choosing to pick up ammunition meant to hurt, maim and kill them?

Why not educate them, beloved??

I must set up a conference with the "I'm Black, But I'm Not A Nigga Like You, Nigga" Council. Of course H'Oprah and her ~~goon squad~~ peers will be available as well as Bill Cosby, his lovely daughter-the one who sells soft high heel shoes to infants, and...oh I'm so upset I can't think right now.

Let me show you what has me ready to toss my #2 pencils out the window-below are shots from a video, that is deplorable. I was visiting with Crunk & Disorderly for my daily dose of chocolaty goodness, and almost left outta there with two hands clutching my chest,sweating like I ate a plate of chitlins replete harbonero peppers, an oxygen tank and a four-point cane!

What will H'Oprah say? I don't even wants to know, and neither do you. Ohhh beloved...smh, you don't want to make H'Oprah mad.

I can't even count the seamen (as in sailors-u all r so unsavory) that run out of her mouth when she's upset.

Picture # 2 has arrows which indicates child and adult had a clear view of each other. Gracious...smh, why did the adult turn around in picture #3, and walk away? why is the little girl, who looks no more than 7, the aggressor in this video?
These r the 'dirty laundry' my good friend Bill talks about, that makes the community so upset.
Watch the video in its entirety, here.

Now I shall retreat to my attic, and cry a thousand tears for the young and ignorant...and get my leather belt for their stupid azz mamas!

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Monday Musings...

2008-08-18T00:26:00.004-04:00

Being the faux Maya Angelou doesn't come without it's trials and tribulations.

I got to thinking about some of the male callers throughout my life, and each interaction was added on to the previous interaction. You know, like sliding 1 piece of popcorn after another onto thread until it's big enough to encompass the Xmas tree.

There was a universal theme common in all the gentlemen callers.

LIES.

I'm not saying every gentleman is a liar, beloved.

But I bet an acre of my land, my beloveds can tell some stories about the stories their gentlemen friends have created.

hahahaha

*sigggggghhh*

So without further ado, Faux Maya Angelou's (in the rhythm of "Still I Rise"):

Still He Lied

You look at me as coagulated mystery,

With your shameless hollow eyes,

U refuse to see the infected wounds of my hurt,

And still, like yesterday, he lied

***

Does my confidence beset you

Why are you dark as doom?

Cause I walk like I've been granted the power

to raise the dead out of tombs?

***

As sure as my experiences

And those of past women cries

No expectation, No disappointment

Cuz still he lies

***

Did you think I believed you

When you refused to look me at my eyes?

To know you have such disdain for my respect and integrity

brought up my spirit cries!

***

Does my resilience confuse you?

Then take it to the Lawd

Cuz I lol and roflmbo without a care in the world

For I gave them all to God!

***

U can attempt to hurt me with your verbs

Or look me up and down cross eyed

U may attempt to break me with your threats

But still like yesterday, you lied.

***

Does my swagger tripp you?

Like who would be surprised

There is more to me than what you see

Not just the prized triangle between my thighs

***

On the phone when i called your name

U lied.

And when i texted u, and asked u the same

U lied.

I am rubber, bending and stretching

Expanding, contracting I let each lie ride.

Choosing to give you an out to tell the truth
U lied

Asking the same question in a different manner
U lied

Bringing the strength to endure is what foremothers gave me
I and my posterity are the face of tomorrow, u can't enslave me

U lied
U lied
U lied.

Now try telling the truth.

***

Still He Lied by Faux Maya Angelou is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

I'm feelin' Inspirational...

2008-08-17T14:01:00.003-04:00

Whewwww!

I finally shoo-shoo'd H'Oprah, Tedman, Kail and all their menagerie off of my estate! Goodness, smoodness.

They certainly over-stayed their welcome, and it proved to be inspirational.

I call this piece:

"Ok, Already"

Ok baby.

I got it.

You're the richest black woman in the U.S.A, BUT I'm so sicka seein' you & Teddy, and no wedding ceremony in sight. Aren't you two too old to be going steady??

OK Already!

U helped Kail with her kids, career and marriage when it went deady.

I get it, I understand-u looked out.

Ok Already!

Baby, I know u love some Faux Maya Angelou,

I so prouda you,

I love u like my lil' bear,Teddy.

But H'Oprah sometimes I just want to look u square in the eye, shake your square shoulders

and say, Chile "Ok, Already!!"

*****

Mz. Faux Maya, loves you darling.

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Confessional...

2008-08-16T23:59:00.003-04:00

My honorary daughter H'Oprah, will probably stop paying my property taxes after my confession...but i've made quite a tidy sum with my own work, so if my baby disowns me...I'll forgive her, but i'll be fine just the same.

Cuz, I'm a phenomenal woman, phenomenal woman is me!

Well, since lil' Ms. Bria made it known to the world I am aka Big MaMa, I figured I might as well come all the way out of my incognegrodom.

So the secret's out...I am Mz. Faux Maya Angelou. I love writing, and helping the youth. However, if I find out there are young people who's conduct are how shall I say it....'uncouth' i will write about it, and maybe even get my freestyle on.

Oh yeah, Mz. Faux Maya Angelou can and will get down with some rhymes.

I hope H'Oprah doesn't sneak up on me while I am consorting with strangers-sometimes I wonder if giving her a key to my palatial ~~crib~~ oops, I mean estate was a good thing- but this allows me to get away while still be in the middle of activity. It's been soo long since I've been able to rub shoulders with real people. What with books, my teaching gig, speaking engagements, reading engagements, kids, grandkids, blah blah blah-when can i just have a sit down and talk with real honest to goodness people-without a camera in my face?? I can't.

So I took it upon myself, and sat before my computer, and created this blog that will allow me to socialize and commune with my beloveds.

I seek inspiration at all times.

If you would like my pearls of wisdom-u can't have my diamonds or titanium-send me an email.

Your dilemma must be true, and if selected it will be feautured in a post entitled "Work-it-out-Wednesday." Send an email with your question, issue, problem,concern, drama, situation, circumstance etc (anonymous submissions are fine)to me at faux.maya.angelou(at)gmail.com, and watch me, Mz. Faux Maya dazzle you! You know I'm as deep as a coal miner's cave down in Kentucky.

Submissions will be chosen and 1 (maybe 2-depending on the inspiration and my scheduling-H'Oprah hogs up a lot of my free time) will be posted by 7:30 am EST, Wednesday morning. What are u waiting on?? You're not doing anything! You're at the computer. You're typing. You know have an issue. Or a circumstance. Don't you want to do something about it? I did something about it! Just type a little more and send your submission to Mz. Faux Maya (i love those Everest Institue commercials!) at faux.maya.angelou(at)gmail.com and who knows,your story may be featured Wednesday!

SSSShhhhh, please don't let H'Oprah find out. She's so protective...she only wants me socializing with people who are of a certain ilk. Sometimes she forget she's not at the studio-she's at my palatial estate and she talks, and talks, and talk-I'd rather have David back over here in his hydro haze! Honey. The contact was so strong on that young, it put me in a coma for 3 days. Yep, like our Savior, I came to on the third day! I KNOW I'm blessed and anointed! I sat up in that casket and scared everyone witless!

hahahahahahaha

Back to H'Oprah, yesss my beloveds, she is aware she is of darker melanin...black. She has just grown frustrated with the antics of ~~you~~ our people. Pray for her, she has sooo much on her plate. Literally.

Well beloveds, Mz. Faux Maya is outty. I'm going to take a walk around the estate-dr's orders. Also, i hear H'Oprah's key jingling in the lock and I don't want to hear about her and Kayle's latest escapades...borrrrinnng.

Until next time: may your heart and soul stir as a pot of grits!

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am,
f.k.a. Big MaMa

Interrupting My SoapNet For My Friend , Bria

2008-08-15T23:42:00.004-04:00

This bloggin' business is not all it's cracked up to be.

No ma'am.

Madder of fack' it's time consumina'...

For example, Big Mama had started cannin' apricot and pickled pigs feet preserves and was almost thru

-they just had to boil a bit mo' in the pot and while i was waiting i sat at my desk and started bloggin'---oh weeeeee, the next thing i knew the most hellifyin-almost made me start-signifyin and prophelyin smell up and crep' outta my kitchen!

I done been to news sites trying to get the most perfectest story to put on my blog and lo an' behold, I had pickled apricot feet jelly alllll ova my kitchen ceilin! you can't imagine trying to scrape clean that concoction offa my newly painted kitchen...my word
Not only that grandma's recipe has done destroyed my great-grandma Mariah's cast Iron pot!

Which leads me to this post-I don't know HOW Bria does it.

That chile is a mama,totes her own mama back and forth, works all the time, and carries herself to school! oooooh, chile!

Jus wanted to let u allz know that my friend's blog You Better Recognze is nominated for Best Education Blog.

Ain't that somethin'?

Some TV program called Black TV Online-an upgrade from BET (Blaxploitation Embarrasin TV-,has her nomination on their site.

Let's support our community, and vote for Bria, ok?

Go right here and choose 'er

Thank you for listenin' to Big MaMa. I have to get my bizkits out of the oven. Bria lovvvvvvves my bizkits, so I'm gone box'em up and send them to her as a gift.

I gotta git now, but remember-Big MaMa loves all her babies. Even you bad babies, Big Mama loves u too.

Bye now.

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Experimentin' With Brad's Blog

2008-08-15T23:17:00.006-04:00

My good friend, Bria, of You Better Recognize told me about this experiment in order to boosts up my techno 'thority, since i'm a novice at this here.

I told Bria,who lovvvvvves Big MaMa's sweet potatoe pie btw, that I haven't the faintess ideaz of what a techno 'thority is-it sounds like a subway to me, but I reckon if she took the time to think of me, i might as well try it.

Whatever doesn't kill Big MaMa, will only make her stronger...except dairy products.

Ohhh chile, that'll have Big MaMa doubled over in pain quicker than a whore can pull down her drawers!
heeeeeee heeeeee heeeeeeeee

Oh Big MaMa still got some fire in theze here bones, oh yes I do!

But anyway, if you want to learn more about this boy's experiments and thangs, point your ~~vermin~~, I means mouse ova here and takes a gander at his place.

Bad Azz Kids

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a.Big MaMa

It's Not Against The Law To Look At him...

2008-08-15T01:43:00.004-04:00

You know, by Big MaMa being a senior citizen now, there's many thangs she can't:

A) Do as well

B) Do at all

If you ever been around us ol' folks, u will know we likes to go down memory lane.

A lot.

We like memory st., memory dr., memory blvd., memory pkwy, memory rd., memory ct., memory pl.--u get the idea,

we like lots of memories!

But some gals, like your Big MaMa here,

needs a vizual aid or two.

What better vizual aid than this fine, scrumptious, handsome, gorjus, mmm-mmm good, plop-plop fizz fizz ohhh what a relief he is

male specimen?

I don't know much about this whippersnapper, but what I do know is this.

If I was 80 yrs younger, I'd give that rascal a run for his money!

He'd be runnin'

and I'd have his money!

heeee heeeee heeeee, oh that's funny!

lol

Now this fust picture...well, that's too young for my taste.

uh-uh.

I'm not like those stupid azz lady teachers who take up with their young boy students. uh-uh I waited til they turned 18 as de law told me too!

His name is Corbin Blu-sounds like that chicken/ham dish to me.

But u can't tell these parents nothin.'

and from what I gather, the boy is famous, click here

But before you go there, look at this pic (below).

This is the one that almost sent me to heaven to be by my husband's side!

And lawd, i'm not ready to leave just yet!

This pic here, made me reach for my defibb-a-lader on the side of my bed

Maybe I was too quick to talk about those devilish Top Ramen Noodles. They're not ALL bad! heeee heeeee heeeeee

Ohhhh myyyyyy, he's a looka

U know what babies? Big MaMa has to go now. I'm sho' it's a sin gazin at that young boy for so long...but guess what?

Jus cuz there's snow on the roof--what else do they say?

in otha woids...i still got a pulse, and i got needs.

Ohhhh milk and Top Ramen did a Corbin Bleu, good!

Ok babies. Big MaMa love you all very much.

I love everyone of my babies.

Be good now, u hear?? kisses kisses

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am,f.k.a. Big MaMa

Well Clutch My Pearls...What Big...EYESSSS U have, Ali!!

2008-08-14T11:35:00.006-04:00

Well I be...

Lemme first say...TOP RAMEN NOODLES R FROM DA DEBBIL! DA' ADVRSARRY IS DOIN ALLL HE CAN TO RUIN BIG MA'S BABIES! I bind up the spirit of Ramen Noodles and all itz unholy flavas!! I rebuke them to the pitz of noodle hell!!

I believe down to my innards that they pump those noodles plum full of preserves, adds and hormonals.
Have u seen how big these chirren are these days??
My my my my my!
OHHHH LAWWWWD...I'm believin in your promises, but my spirit is soooo vexed.

Just when it seems that Linzee girl, has gotten her life straightened up
*although... her new boyfriend looks alot like a bony lil' girl. He could use a plate of Big MaMa's smothered pork chops, fried cabbage, rice, sliced tomatoes and onions, home made cornbread, glass of lemon iced tea, sweet potato pie, and---what was Big MaMa talkin' about agin??--
that's right, Linzee yunga sista has picked up the be-ton and run off wit' it.
*ohhhhh chile, Big Mama is really into da O-limpiks*

When I look at lil Ali's chest in that there pitcha on the lef side, well it's a chess-like lil girls her age have.
But my word *fannin myself* lil Ali, is not sooo lil anymore.
U know I useta have a shape like that.
mmmhmmm yes I did.
Big Mama had alll the gentlemen callers come a callin' for me...oh that's anotha story...

Cuz Big MaMa knows in her heart of hearts, lil Ali
(that's awful nice of her mama, White Oprah to name her child after the best negro fighta in America! theyz some fine people, those lowdownHans!)
did not partake in surgery and have water balloons put in her chess like those sorry women who iz trying to get a man do!

Did you know she is only 14?
mmmmmm...community-it's time for a boycott.
I say we boycott the Top Ramen Noodle peoplez, so they can stop makin our chirren grow too fast!

Ok babies, Big MaMa has to go now. I have to send a 9-11 e-mergen-c email to my Artha club so we can pray. All of us with diffrent cases of artharitis get together-as long as it ain't rainin'-and talks about Artha's behind ackin' up!
He's a mess!
Anyhooo, Big MaMa has to call her Artha club so we can prayz while rubbin in our Ben Gayz cream in our joints.
Yes, the lawd is the balm of gilead,
and ben gayz is the balm for our joints!

Now Big MaMa has got ta go now...but remember babies, Big Mama loves u.
And rememmber-ain't no bad azz kids, those are just the kids who ain't beenz to Big MaMa's house yet.
love you, babies.
byebye!
source

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Baby, Ur Chile Ain't Bad-He'z Jus' Nastay As Hell!

2008-08-13T20:41:00.005-04:00

Oh my! What is this mess before me??
Ok, now Big MaMa likes an occasional Whopper Sammich
(as long as they're ez on the Mayo-lactoez problems, u know?

But what am I to think when I see this boy with eye make up on, and his franks & beans are in the sink??
*swing lowwwww, sweeeet charrrrrioottttt*
take me lawd, take me home!

Now, i believe in bleach clean.
Mmmmmmm-mmmmm, Big Mama enjoy the antiseptic smells of Bleach, but help me...this boy-child has his frank and beans, the cracka his behind sittin in the wash tub.
what is this chile's problem??

Well, I'mma ass-ume business was slow, and the slow boy didn't have anything better to do. Maybe they ran out of buns or meat an he was waiting for the delivery truck and they just took too long.

Hmph.

He calls himself "Mr. Unstable" (well, that may be true) and he took a dive in the sink at BK in OH. He even had his slow-witted friend record him.
Where is this chile's mama?
Oh gooooodness.
Well, knowing how clean I like my house reading this story is just plum making me itch.
So if you wanna know anythang else about this story please
click here.

Watch, the vidyo if ur brave. Big MaMa has seen enough thangs in her life, and she's jus' strivin' for peace now.

http://view.break.com/553140 - Watch more free videos

Big MaMa must go and re-bleach her house.
Big MaMa love her babies, I love all of youz.
And you all be good now, ya hear me?

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

Who Do We Blame For Dis?

2008-08-12T10:53:00.009-04:00

(Camille, Evin-ohh she's a big girl!, Bill Cosby)

Now y'all know Bigmama like gossip, jus likes the nex' person.

But this here ain't funny.

I don't need to tell you all of Big Ma's business, but in my day we didn't have time for hi-falutin-rootn-tootn Oreo cookie monsters! Dat's what we called black folk who was black on de outside and tried to be white on da inside.

Now let Big MaMa say this.

I love some white folks.

Not erry white person is a plum fool.

I have learned a thang or two from some gooood white folk. Dey taught me to read, helped me with my studies and say to me Big MaMa you can shoot for the stars.

I didn't know what that meant, so I couldn't understand the fear in theyz face when I went in my closet, got my shotgun and started shootin at the sky!

Well hell, whyz didn't they just tell me I can be a better person in da future den I am today?? What iz so harrd about saying dat?

Anywayz I'm making a point.

It is ok to be white-if you are white.

But gotdurnit-when u iz black and u trying to pass-Big Mama's got a problem wit it.

*where's my fan?* Lawd help me

Ok, Big Ma is going to copy/paste this mess from Bossip

“My own people used to say to me, ‘You speak like a white woman,’” said the youngest daughter of Bill and Camille Cosby at her chic new boutique, PB & Caviar, in Tribeca.
“What does that even mean, anyway? Everyone has their way of speaking and living their life. No one should be judging and assuming that because I’m black, I have to speak in that hip-hop way. That’s something I prefer not to do.”

“I always went to private schools - Bank Street elementary, Columbia Prep - so I was surrounded by people like me. Not so much African-American, but privileged. I don’t really have a connection to other people who didn’t have my lifestyle. But my dad is very into helping people from his own community in Philadelphia.”

Well if u click on Bossip's source link, you'll see this is the same dim-witted child who thinks selling 36 pairs of infant high heel shoes is a good thang. smh
I have just the cure for that one right there. This chile needs to spend two weeks with Big Ma, she'll be hanging clothes on the line outside, snappin' beans, and cannin' her OWN jelly & preserves, pullin' up weeds...hell she'll be on her knees with a bucket and a rag cleanin' baseboards! It sho'nuf didn't kill me.
Let me just jump on a sentence of two.
Sentence #1:
I don’t really have a connection to other people who didn’t have my lifestyle.
Now ain't that something? Is this chile tryin to say to me, her own pappy segregated her? There was some segregatin' going on? Who didn't have her lifestyle? U mean to say to Big MaMa that chile ain't NEVA been around less fortunate people? Now don't that beat all??
Sentence #2:
But my dad is very into helping people from his own community in Philadelphia.

Well ain't that nice of Mr. Cosby? he takes it upon himself to go back to his necka da woods and help the community. That's a fine man, yes he is. Except. I didn't hear nary a word about Ms. Evin Cosby saying she tagged along to those same necka da woods to help out. I thought rich folk like to do community work? Even that cock-eyed Paris Hilton has been known to do charity even if it is only cuz a camera is in her face. My spirit is sooo grieved at this dim-witted child. But my anga is at her mama and daddy. What in hellz bellz has gotten into Bill?? How can he come into the- *what is that new fangled woid for black neighbahoods they use today?*

Urban! That's it Urban! Why does Mr. Cosby goes traipsin all over da country goin to urban cities and whatnot, like he is doin mankind a favor of some sort, and here his own daughta don't have a clue that she is black?!

Now Jesus, U, will haf to help me with that one. Yessssir
please sweet Jesus, help me.

Now my question to u my beloved is this: just as Mr. Cosby blames us for the 'dirty laundry' that comes out of the schools at 2:30 cussin and calling each other the N-word..., who do we blame for his ignant azz daughter?! She's just as snoddy, snooty, sedity and all those otha woids that describes that mess of a girl. She and her parents are outta touch.

I supported Mr. Cosby but after listening to his deliriously misinformed child, I have the mind to change my mind. And I'm doing just that.

Enough of this talk. I want a turkey sammich wit' excra pickles. Alright my babies, Big MaMa gonna to get and have suppa. I'll talk to u soon, ya hear? Big MaMa loves all of you, u hear me? Erry last one of youz.

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a.Big MaMa

Now I'm Not Ready To Callz Toto J A Bad Azz Child but...

2008-08-12T06:52:00.005-04:00

First let me just say when I received my fax from my sources at the Underground Railroad and was told this here picture was of Toto Jackson-wait a min, Dorothy's lil puppy was black?!-let me reread dis here fax...ok ok,my apologies. It says here, TITO Jackson, not Toto-heee heee

ohhhhh Tito Jackson, let me just say-he turned out to be a nice lookin' young man. He looks as if he some latino in his dna'z

He's too young for Big MaMa but I remembers so well when he was a pudgy lil ol' somethin' just strummin' on his ge' tar and he just playin' and playin' not stirrin' up any trouble.

mmmmhmmmm

Yep, I remembers Tito.

This is when I wish my poor blessed mama had not made me learn to read cuz this info about Tito J has truly dissterbed my spirit.

ohhh lawwwwd, u could have told me this about Jermaine with his shellacked hairdo, or that pitiful Michael and lawwwd YOU only know about that bad azz Randy. mmmmhhhhhmmmmmm *fanning myself*

but to hear that my sweet lil pudge-pudge, Tito Jackson done double crossed his family's friend is enuf to just take me over the edge.

smh

This is just as devastatin as when my favorite corna store stopped selling PICKLE EGGS!

I'm sooo glad i left my pistol at home, oh lawwd.

Bcuz as sure as my name is Big MaMa that cashier would have SHO' NUFF gone on home to meet her maker, and i'm not talkin about her mammy and her pappy.

Anyway, anyway Matt Fiddes of the UK says poor ole Tito owes $12,051 in UK currency-pounds. Well after tryin to tally that up in my ole head, I had to put pride outside and gets my pen and paper. After about 12 hours of configgerin and computin', Tito owes Fiddes (not Fiddy) a lil over $29k in U.S. dollas.

Now. I knows that boy come from a fam'ly just as retarded as they wanna be. But I believe deep down in my here soul, he has a good, a reallll good explanation. I'm not gone throw this here baby out with the bathwater. No ma'am.

I'm gone get my church accessory prayer team to pray for Tito and God is gone turn some thangs around in his life. God is gone open up a blessin that Tito won't have room to receive...as long as his papa Joe ain't around!

God bless u baby, Big Mama prayin for you Tito!

Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, f.k.a. Big MaMa

UPDATE: The Family That Throws Down Together, Goes Down Together

2008-08-12T00:03:00.004-04:00

According to a reliable source of mine's, that would be EURweb.com, the saga continues in the soap opera that has made international news, starring ANTM's Bianca Golden, and Hairspray's very own Nikki Blonski.

Chile if you don't remember the details I gave you last week too bad...ur late behind is just gone haveta-that's right I put my grammar IN MY OWN KINDA ORDA!

So's like I was sayins...if ur just tunin in, u iz late and ur just gonna haveta click here

and catch up-BigMama don't have time to rehash nothin'-my time is precious just like yourn is.

Anywayz, my friendz at Eurweb says that Hairspray gal's pappy is still in jail w-out the bail. Seems he beat the stuffin' outta that Next model gal's mama. Beat her so bad she had to go up in the hellycoppa and go to a hospital that cud tend to her rightly.

Now what could Ms. Golden done to set that man off , so??

*grabbin my fan and hummin a hymn to Jesus*

Lawwwd,lawwwd why have they forsakennnnn theeeee, ohhhhh lawwwwwd

lawwwd i knowz we in da last days, so why don't u come on with the come on, lawwwwwwwd!

lawwd what iz wrong wit' ur chirrens beatin on each other like soooo...mmmhmmm *fannin self*

lawwwd i'm ready to get caught up in ur rapture lawwd, please lawwwd set me free, set me freeee so i can be with theeeee

hmmmmm..i just had a terrible flashback.

MMM. mmmm i rememberz gettin into fisticuffs with the neighbahood floozy when i was just a young gal. and she owed me a jar of pickled pigs feet. Well she tells me to my face she don't know nothin bout no pigs feet, but my bess friend Essie Mae done seen her buy two jarful of hoofs from Jenkins Market.

Ohhh lawd. by the time i gave that floozy a good cussin', she was wearin pickled pig feet juice all over her favorite pink sweater, which was hilarious since she stuffed her sweater-when that juice was thrown on her,her DD cups disntagraaatd to a A cup. ohhh u shudda seent her face. That heffa Jesse-Mae ended up bein the third piece to our puzzle. She became me and Essie Mae's best friend.

Oh but anywayz back to Eurweb.com, one side Bianca's mama suffered from slurred speech, damage on her left side. The other side she's fine and just wants to sue.

Well honey u know in 'Merica u can sue for the damndest thang but we'll see how it goes for her. But if u want to read mo' of this mess-go here. I'm ready for this mess to be ova, for real.

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Tribute to some Bad Azz Mutha-- I'm just talking about Isaac Hayes & Berne Mac!!

2008-08-11T05:59:00.005-04:00

This past week has ended with serious sorrow in the entertainment industry.

Two great bad azz kids (bad as in good, not bad as in BAD) have died-but as long as there's Youtube...we'll all be fine!

The first loss was Bernie Mac

image source

Actor-comedian, Bernie Mac made ole school discipline cool.

You don't have to haggle or bargain with your child...whoop that azz!! he kept it real! Although the non-black communities weren't sure how to take him...at first. They in time, grew to accept and love Bernie Mac too! Bernie Mac died at the age of 50, from complication of pneumonia...mmmm mmmmm a serious loss indeed.

image source

*family pics-Mac's daughter Je'Niece & son-n-law Trey. Beautiful grandbaby, Jasmine*

image source

Bernie Mac as Dolla Bill-Chi-Town! (from Player's Club)

**caution offensive language**

Now on Aug. 8th, we were told he was recovering, and on the 9th-he was gone!! Read his bio: click here

And then before we were able to recover from Bernie Mac's death...an aftershock hit us

the composer of Shaft-Isaac Hayes died YESTERDAY (Sunday, August 10th), the day AFTER Bernie Mac's death smh

image source

Hayes was on the same wavelength as Barry White: both were composers, and infused classical music with soul. They made horns, and violins sound SEXY! Yes they did!

Hayes was deemed a 'hypocrite' a couple of years ago when he quit the TV show "South Park" ending his role as'Chef." When his religion, Scientology, was parodied (yep, he was a Scientologist) Hayes called the show 'bigoted.' Although, I am curious as to why it took taunting Scientology to get him riled up?? South Park, made fun of all religions, and ethnic groups-but it wasn't an issue with Hayes until Scientology was taunted, hmmmm.

Interestingly enough, the role of 'Chef' on South Park, was offered to Barry White first-who refused the part due to it's irreverevent material.

**Isaac Hayes, wife Adjowa, and son Nana Kwadjo Hayes in '06-Hayes has 4 other children**

image source

Watch Hayes' live performance of "Shaft"

Hayes died at the age of 65, in his home in Memphis, when he was found unconscious next to his treadmill.

R.I.P. Bernie Mac & Isaac Hayes

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

I'm A Christian but...

2008-08-11T05:21:00.007-04:00

I honestly believe naming a child "Christian" is a set up for the devil to prove your child is anythang but- and lawd knows I have enough trials and tribs w/out givin' the debbil the bullets to shoot me in my back!

Case in point:

Christian Ward aka Yung Berg.

I don't know what a Yung Berg

(short for newly created Iceberg?? *shrugging my shoulders*)

is, but it was enough to garner media attention, and he's young so it's material for my blog!

Seems this wanna be bad azz scared the help out of the limo driver and he called the police-Y.B.was in a limo with his boyz, homeyz, ______(fill in slang for the day) got into an "argument" (u know how loud black people get and it ain't hardly an argument)...but I digress.

5-0 show up on the scene and get those neeegroes on a caggle of charges. Ur not a 'rapper' (i use that term loosely, cuz this crap they're crankin out 2day ain't hardly rap!) unless ur:

Cussin', talking about 'hood, hoes, $$
lookin' likea graffiti'd wall in New York
rappin' about 'time' u spent locked up(Smoking gun is proving many rappers to be liars about their past)
speaking in the worse English possible, u kno' what i'm sayin', aiight??
Having a Youtube beef going on with another 'rapper' smh (U heard me-YOUTUBE!!)
makin vids w/rented hoes, rented jewels, rented cars & crib-fanning the money and makin' it rain on those hoes
get caught drivin' on a suspended license, drug charges, weapon charges, child support etc
The list can go on and on!

Anyhow, for the rest of this predictable story check out Bossip!

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Syed Rahman's Bad Azz Killed A Girl At Lil Kim's Bday Party...smh

2008-08-10T21:29:00.004-04:00

The good news is: You can't blame black folks for messing up this party!

The Bad news: Beautiful Ingrid Rivera has lost her life at Lil Kim's Bday party!

Syed Rahman, with head bowed in pic below

Ingrid Rivera, killed at Lil' Kim' party, encircled

Since his bad azz couldn't get play from her friend on the roof, he brings Rivera up there and bashes her in the head with the pipe...but knowing that bad azz kids will be bad azz kids...crackin her head wasn't enuf...nooo he had to slice her throat too. source

How serial killer-like

smdh

HERE'S TO HOPING THAT JUSTICE IS SERVED IN SYED RAHMAN'S CASE.

R.I.P. Ingrid Rivera

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

The Spokesperson for bad azz kids WAS in jail...

2008-08-07T19:14:00.004-04:00

The spokesperson for bad azz kids ~~inmate 2533~~ I mean Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has been freed from jail.
Judge Ronald Giles, revoked bad azz's bond and sent him to the clink.

Bad Azz's mugshot...smh

Well, by his butt being locked up, at least his wife Karlita was able to get a good night's rest!

Judge Giles said,
"If it was not Kwame Kilpatrick sitting in that seat, if it was John Six-Pack sitting in that seat, what would I do? And that answer is simple..."

I'll tell you this, Kwame shoooooooo' knows how to lie. He just doesn't know how to lie GOOD.
smh
anyone with a pulse knows he speaks with a forked tongue-he was lyyyying thru those caps of his.

However, the next day-his bad azz was out of jail.
Judge Thomas Jackson understood why bad azz was sent to jail, but he modified Kwame's terms.
$50,000 cash bond

NO Travel (he had the nerve to go out of the country to Canada 'on biz'-reports saw him @ a WATER PARK in Canada with his KIDS!!!--such a liar!)

And a tether aka ankle bracelet. Ohhhh I know his pride is hurt on that one!! But he' s scandalous, so if I know him-he'll get one of his gangta goony goo-goo 'bodyguards' to negro-rig it off his ginormous ankle and slip it on their pet dog's leg-or better yet, he'll make one of the goony goo goo bodyguards wear it!! lol
he is capable of doing something like that, too!
He's schedule for trial on the 14th of Aug.
if you would like more insight on the insane in the membrane mama's boy-click here and look to the right.
There's a whole library dedicated to Kwame Kilpatrick.

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Lil Mama: Bad Azz Dresser...

2008-08-04T07:13:00.006-04:00

And I mean 'bad' as in bad, not bad as in good.

However, I'm goin to cut rapper Lil Mama some slack, why?
Cuz she's actually a good kid.
Girl can rap her azz off.
She ALWAYS has her baby sis with her when she goes to major events.
She has the body I was supposed to be born with, and I'm just jealous. *shrugs shoulders*
And after her mother passed away last year, she did not use her death as excuse to fug up.
Lil Mama simply needs a bad azz stylist-bad.
Or maybe not.
U know what?
I'm a proponent of individuality-so if good girl Lil Mama wants to look like who did it why and what for--then dammit who am I??
Do u Lil Mama-but if I see u in those garish Alice in Wonderland after droppin' acid outfits on you again, your azz will get a post.
Have fun girl!!

2008 Teen Choice Awards, with Jordin Sparks-hey girl!!

source: crunk & disorderly

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Desperate Azz Parent....

2008-08-04T01:26:00.005-04:00

Freaky Friday switcheroo

What fool took this pic of this skanky hussy?? This is why her kids are as dysfunctional as they are.
If I wasn't a black person...i'd take my Peace Maker out my pocketbook-and smack each titty til theyz be the color of that table cloth overlay she calls a blouse so i don't have to see those nasty thangs.
I don't know when this pic was taken nor do I care, ok?? I just want to pistol smack the sucka that not only tol' her to say cheese, but decided to upload that mess on this here intranet.
lawdy lawdy.

When the child is more modestly dressed than the mama-somethin's wrong.
Your having $$$ self, does not mean people want to see your old-new titties.
They/we don't.
It matters not how many times you've had them puppies pulled, lifted, augmented, shaped, molded, siliconed, salined, removed, reimplanted, shot up etc.

Cover that mess up-cuz u r sho' nuff too old.
Old azz desperate parents will do the dumbest things in order to be deemed relevant when they have younger firmer kids, esp. daughters.

No wonder your young son is a drunk and ur younger daughter is wearing a size -34,...
she can't eat due to being traumatized by displays of behavior such as the one pic'd above.

You're A MIDDLE AGE WOMAN

...leave the lace in your boudoir and put on a damn bra.
ewwwww!
Now who the hell can take this woman serrriusly?
Not me.

*Nicki's facial expression says 'there's no place like home, there's no place like home...'

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

The Family That Throws Down 2Gether, Goes Down 2Gether...

2008-08-03T21:23:00.007-04:00

source: Crunk & Disorderly

Bad Azz Parents & Chirren

Stop the insanity and hold the presses!!

First of all...who are these 'celebrities?' They're definitely on the HJ list cuz I've never heard of 'em. Why are they actin like monkeydoodle fools at the airport on foreign land?? Have these people no shame?!

But be that as it may...it involves bad azz kids and when it also involves bad azz parents...well hell that's a two-fer right there!! The 'celebrities' are the 1) star of broadway show Hairspray, Nikki Blonski, and 2) ANTM's Bianca Golden (i don't know which cycle..if u truly want to know, Google her baby!)

It also involved Blonski's popz, and Goldenz mom. These rascals were fightin with their Amerikin selves in the beautiful land of Turks & Caicos.

(Turks & Caicos, b'low)

They make me want to open up a can on their backsides myself. I oughta go in my purse and pull out my 'peace.' I got this Jesus, ain't no use in you comin' down here over some plum foolishness, when u can watch out for our soulja boys ovaseas...I'll command the Piece *my trigga finga's itchin* to be still in ur name. Yessireee bob.

So az I was sayin' these foolz actid a fool in T & C, over a seat.

*exhale*

After the dust settled, Blonski & Golden went to jail and were released. Blonski's popz still in jail as far az I know. And Golden's mama got knockd da puck out-as she is still in the hospital.

That ain't good, and this story should provide me with one more good post.

Hey that's what their bad azzes get for not being mature.

I don't know all of the particulas, but u don't act a monkey outside of the U.S.-u just don't do that.

I don't want to write all of the charges and possible jail charges-cuz I'm tired as hell, but if u really are that nozy, or u have nothing else better to do but to read about these bad azz kids/bad azz parents-go here

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

NOT Bad Azz Kids...

2008-08-03T15:00:00.005-04:00

All is not loss, there are good kidz in the world. I wanted to use the good kids that I know, but I don't have time to call everyone up and ask for permission to feature their bay-bays!! lol

actress Dakota Fanning

actress Kee-Kee Palmer

source

I am telling you the honest truth here, whippersnapper!-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Bad Azz Kidz Preggers With Bad Azz Kidz...

2008-08-03T14:31:00.005-04:00

Admittedly, gas prices are off the chain.

I too, have considered picking up a side hustle just for my gasoline so that I may get to and fro work without having to sacrifice my Starbucks & cafeteria meals.

Operative words are "i too have considered."

Having said that-I can only wonder...wth kind of future these pre-bad azz kids have in store with mama like these?

source

In case you're wondering-these bad azz heffas aren't looking at their children's ultrasound pics.

These heffas r smiling for the camera...not Candid Camera...but the MUGSHOT camera!! *rolling my eyes-smdh*

The women/children were charged with prostitution...it seems they were adverstising their services online (probably Craigs List)

You know, becuz, POLICE NEVER GO ONLINE-omg

How damn dumb can u be? Well if ur a bad azz kid-u can get PRETTY DUMB.

ages are between 18-22...if i had a switch or a belt in their proximity...smh

Yeah I said it, and what??-I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

When Ghetto Bad Azz Kids Grow Up...SMDH

2008-08-03T14:14:00.004-04:00

She wound her head so much, i thought she was a helicopter.

Please understand...this is not a typical adult party. This is a baby shower. Little boy with band-aid under his eye probably got hit when he tried to make ole girl stop making a fool of her damn self.

I'm sure her mama is so proud to have given birth to her BAD AZZ!!

damn shame.

She oughta be quartered...lol

source: Bossip

Yeah I said it, and what??

-I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Jodie Sweetin (of Full House fame) No Longer A Bad Azz Child...

2008-08-03T13:17:00.004-04:00

Bad Azz Girl, Gone Good!!

You remember Jodie Sweetin, who portrayed the middle siser, Stephanie Tanner on the sitcom Full House?
Well life was not a bed of Roses for her when the show ended.
It seems Jodie decided to experiment with drugs, and got caught up in the Meth cycle...smh
She was definitely one of the fortunate ones.
Have u seen the ravaging effects of Meth?! *shivers* Yikes!

Jodie admits to having been addicted to Meth for 3+ yrs and lost her husband during that time. (she was married? she's so young!) source

There is a silver lining to Jodie's story. She has since gotten herself clean, remarried, had a baby girl named Zoie (which means LIFE by the way!) earlier this year, and is now headed to Reality-TV land. Gotta make a living some kind of way, right??

Congratulations on your sobriety Jodie and keep up the great work!!

That's right, I said it and what???

I am-

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Miley's Going To Be Bad As Hell...

2008-08-03T10:20:00.007-04:00

Ok...I'm not a Perez H. fan, but he has the pics I need for this post.

WTF?!

How in the hell can a "hacker" keep infiltrating this girl's damn phone??

yeah, right, Miley!

That's some ish only her parents would believe! smdh

***HOT AZZ MILEY***

SOURCE: PEREZ HILTON

This is some bull-ish.

This GIRL, is 15y/o

For someone whose parents are always in tow...how is that she's able to have pics 'leak' to the public...again???

I know her daddy, Billy Ray Cyrus (whom I had a MAD crush on back in the day-mullet be damned) is happy to be working again, and in the public eye blah blah, but ur damn daughter is on her way to skankville. How can you be so blase-splee over your daughter's soft porn pics with Vanity
Fair? I read an article and the title of the article says Billy 'goes off.' That's a damn lie. His attitude ended up being-hey what can you u do?

How about sue their azzes for peddling soft porn featuring a MINOR?? click here

source: Google Images

I don't give a damn how much revenue she's generating for damn Disney-UR STILL THE DAMN PARENT. PARENT HER AZZ-UNTIL SHE'S 18. Then if she wants to work at Hooters (cuz she's too old for Disney), swing around a pole, get with Hugh Hefner (i'm sure he'll still be around), or get a porno career going with sex tapes like singer Brandy's brother, Ray J or whatever-that's on her, not u. And believe me buddy-she's definitely headed that way. smh

what can you do???

Exchange her damn phone for one without pic capabilities, make sure a RESPONSIBLE adult is with her azz when she's taking pics, publicity outings etc. Duhhhh

I don't care if ur scared of being unemployed again...dammit u have a contract-sock away those pennies and then when she turns 18 and kicks ur azz to the curb when ur contract's expired... ur alright.

I know she's worth a lot of money-but what r u goin to do when she ends up like this:

Amy Winehouse

****

Corey Haim

...just to name a few.

You better get ahold of that heffa, b4 something or someone gets ahold of her azz, and YOU AND UR WIFE will be the one to blame. Miley may hold the purse strings-BUT UR STILL THE DAMN PARENT.

I hope I don't have to regurgitate this story a year or two from now, when this girl goes seriously buckwild.

U better stop it now b4 your child becomes bad as hell. And don't even THINK about sayin'

'oh she wudn't do nothing like that'

she's already 'leakin' her own pics to the public, idiot.

I hate ur parenting skills so much right now.

i do not respect ur or ur wife's parenting skills.

Let that girl be a young girl, stop dyeing her hair, dressing her like a woman etc.

SHE'S A DAMN KID.

U CALL THE SHOTS.

Yeah, I said it and what??

Cudn't and WUDN'T be my child!

please believe it-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

They Don't Do As We Say...They Do As We Do

2008-08-02T18:44:00.003-04:00

What kind of role model are you for you child????

yeah, I said it-please believe it,

I am

**U better believe, every post is true as hell- true as hell**

This Ish Ain't Cute...

2008-08-02T13:36:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure this video clip is from a dvd or movie...but either way this ish ain't funny nor is it cute. I'm believing the parent/caretaker authorized this child playing this role, bcuz the parent needed some money for crack. There are two adults in this vid-1 is in the background dusting ish that's not there. However, I know for a fact when an oriental is threatened, the whole family come together and go off in English/and their native language simultaneously. Also that lil boy cuss TOO DAMNED GOOD.

Why would a parent authorize this, and why would a part in a movie call for a child to talk in such a manner.

This child is bad as hell

-and i blame the mama, daddy, producer, director, costumer, camera-person, grip, craft, caterer, child protective services etc CUZ SOMEONE SHOULD'VE STEPPED UP AND ENDED THIS INSANITY.

Wouldn't have been my child(ren) talking like that. I'd just have to feign for a rock until I can tap into my resources.

please believe it-

I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell**

Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick-Your Child is Bad As Hell!!

2008-08-01T22:53:00.004-04:00

Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick...your child is bad as hell.
But you know that already.

source: Google Images

Your child, Kwame Malik Kilpatrick is being featured today as the spokesperson for Bad Azz Kids.

Sure his mayoral debut was controversial in and of itself with him rockin' a diamond stud in his ear-but an earring in the ear does not a bad mayor make.
Since that time, the monster you've created-and I'll get to that later has
been nothin' but trouble.
From an infamous party at the mayor's mansion where an exotic dancer was killed (i'm sure this will be proven to be true and not a rumor)
, to salacious text messages exchanged between himself and his #1 jump off Christine Beatty (your child is married)
,
to unjust firings of city workers, mishandling of city funds, to giving unqualified friends & family jobs instead of the qualified, using charity funds for personal use, intimidation,perjuring himself (along with Christine B.) on the stand and is facing jail time *sigh*...i can go on and on-and there's enuf material to allow me to do just that, but I must keep it movin.

ohhhhh-weeeee, your child is bad as hell!

Being a mother like yourself, I'm down with protecting offspring. However, there comes a point in time when and if your child insists on NOT upholding the law especially when he's been sworn to do so, it's time to put on your old school mama hat and check his azz.

If Jesse Jackson's son, can stand up to his hypocritical father and stand for what's right-i KNOW as a mother u have even more authority.

I have seen countless instances of mothers giving free reign to their sons (as minors) and these sons grow up to have no accountability for their actions. Your bad azz son is a perfect example. In the past I admired you, but when it became apparent that the apple didn't fall from the tree-u were the impetus in this man-child's erroneous behavior (we won't talk about his passive azz daddy), i then questioned what in the hell had MI gotten itself into?
You can't become a mama's boy with your mama being the dominant factor.
smh
Here's your bad azz (and dumb azz)-defending your bad azz child:

But in defense of your bad azz child:

Not all bad azz kids CHOOSE to be bad azz. Some bad azz kids are nurtured, and groomed by their dumb azz parents (like yourself) and these bad azz kids grow up with the impression and mistaken belief that everyone owes them, and they're above the law. When your mother is a congreswoman (such as yourself), and she goes on TV just as uncouth as she wants to be-hollerin' like a banshee, speaking in ebonic format-it's EASY to see why that man-child of yours is a bad azz kid.

There's always an exception to the rule. Most kids find their way to be bad azz kids-despite a parent's best intention, and other kids-well other kids are given gps/ mapquest turn by turn directions by their stupid azz parents (such as yourself and his passive azz daddy).

Yeah I said it, and what?

Please believe,
I am

**yes, every post is true as hell, true as hell-at least to my knowledge it is**

No. Not My Kids...In One Week?!

2008-07-31T02:33:00.008-04:00

What's Up? I'm known as Not The One, cuz I'm NOT the One...ok? I'm not the one to be played the fool, made a fool of, deal with tomfoolery and all of his foolishness. I work hard, love hard, and play hard. Having said that, I created this blog for myself and parents/caretakers like myself. 

For those who did their best to raise kids, but was blindsided by the STUPID AZZ choices they've made-leave a comment.

Don't tripp...just talk.

Son

Let me tell you what happened to me...with BOTH of my kids this week...and it's all true

This past Monday, while I'm at work, my son's father called me.

He advised me that my SEVENTEEN YR OLD SON, was picked up for shoplifting.

I asked him...'what son?'

Not hard to deduce the son he was talking about since I have only have 1 son.

smdh

He went on to tell me that wasn't the first time the little klepto used his

'5-finger discount' AT WAL-MART.

No! MY CHILD WOULDN'T DO THAT!

Ohhhhh yes he did!!

In addition to paying a fine, his azz is also banned from Wal-Mart's for FIVE YEARS.

*silence*

*crickets cricketing*

*breath slowly returns*

Nawww my child wouldn't do no ish like that.

Well, apparently he would AND DID do some ish like that.

smh

The worse part?

The lil nicca has not one ounce of remorse!!

Wonder if he would like this punishment: click here

It's agreed that his azz will have to pay his own fine or he goes to jail.

I'll be damned if he said he'll just have to go to jail.

Nicca I oughta---
One mo' year...and he's out the door.

Daughter

Anywayz onto my 20 y/o daughter...

I picked my daughter up from her job around 12:15 am, right?

No prob.

I go in my room and jump on my laptop.

All's kool & the gang.

Until...I hear my gas stove go tick-tick tick

I stopped typing to listen.

Maybe she's goin out and is goin to press her hair before she leaves.

But i don't hear her put a pressing comb on the stove.

I resume typing, and again i hear

tick tick tick

No pressing comb.

Now my mind is thinking.

The ONLY damn time a stove did that, was when I was lighting up a cigarrette.

Oh helll nawwww...My Child Wouldn't Do that!

Seriously.

My home is for non-smokers.

And hell, my child doesn't even smoke.

And to prove it, I'm goin to pry my azz away from the computer and prove it to myself.

I open up my daughter's door and SHE JUMPS as if she saw a damn poltergeist!

'Dang mama, u scared me.'

'uh-huh...babygirl --'

*sniff, sniff*

'why the f*ck does this room smell like smoke?'

'No it doesn't'

*maybe i'm paranoid-it's possible*

I step into my hallway and get a whiff of my Glade Linen plug-in, and then step back into her roon.

*Oh HELL FU*K NAWWW...this mofo is smoking!

My child woudln't do that....OH YES THE HELL SHE WILL CUZ HER ROOM SMELLS LIKE SMOKE!*

Now...i'm ballistic and throwing stuff around...WHERE IS IT? WHERE'S THE ASHTRAY--she is still denying smoking...

I'm looking at the room-she's got candles burning like she's either catholic or a damn palm reader-WTH???

But one thing for certain, 2 for sure...

I'M NO FOOL.

I screamed at her and tell me to give me the ashtray-and what does she produce??

She extinguished a damn cigarette in one of my soup bowls!

ok...can u say reflex???

Cuz I IMMEDIATELY SLAPPED PISS FIRE OUT OF HER...

I am NOT promoting violence-didn't I say it was reflex?!

I could not believe my daughter would not only fuggin smoke...but fuggin smoke in my house...WITH ME IN THE NEXT ROOM.
How disrespectful can a muthapucka be??

she then told me she smokes at work etc.
My own MAMA can't smoke in my home..her knees are riddled with arthritis, but she goes down the stairs and outside to smoke...out of respect for me. But my daughter can't?? or better yet ...won't??

Ohhhhh I'm NOT THE ONE, OK?
Also...

For the past 2-3 weeks she's been coming home and leaving back out at 1:30-2am and coming late the next day.

Ok...ain't nothin open at that time of night but 7-11 and legs, and since she ain't came back with a Big Gulp...I already know what's happening.

*not my daughter pic b'low*

Yep...ur grown.

And when ur grown and want to do what the hell u want to do...u gotta go.

I looked her dead in her eye and said GET OUT.

Cuz I'm not goin thru this everyday/night.

The nicca u've been running to every night needs to come pick u up.

U can smoke, screw, get drunk etc til your heart's content.

But u gotta get outta my house.

My daughter has left-and I have peace.

My son is next.

This all happened this week within 2 days.

You wanna find out how grimey your kids are??
Utter the words...'Uh-uh...MY KIDS WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!

Sheeeeeeeeeiitttttt...u wanna bet?

What's on your mind boos???

-Not the One

*images from Google Images-used for reference and are not my actual bad azz kids!*

Each 1, Reach 1, Teach 1, Then Choke if Necessary!!

H'Oprah Tried To Help, Now It's Up To The Lawd!

Why Must My Soul Cry???

Black Celebrity Kids...

I Believe That Chirren Are Our Future...DRESS THEM WELL and let them lead the way...

Spokesperson for Bad Azz Kids Has What?!

Babies All In The News..

Bad Azz Kids Aren't Born...They're Made!!!!

Barack Obama & Sen. Joe Biden- President and Vice President Candidates

WWMACTAD??

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, (OH) passes away...

They Say it Lke It's A Bad Thing...

This Is Why H'Oprah Opened A School in Antartica...

Monday Musings...

I'm feelin' Inspirational...

Confessional...

**Interrupting My SoapNet For My Friend , Bria**

Experimentin' With Brad's Blog

It's Not Against The Law To Look At him...

Well Clutch My Pearls...What Big...EYESSSS U have, Ali!!

Baby, Ur Chile Ain't Bad-He'z Jus' Nastay As Hell!

Who Do We Blame For Dis?

Now I'm Not Ready To Callz Toto J A Bad Azz Child but...

UPDATE: The Family That Throws Down Together, Goes Down Together

Tribute to some Bad Azz Mutha-- I'm just talking about Isaac Hayes & Berne Mac!!

I'm A Christian but...

Syed Rahman's Bad Azz Killed A Girl At Lil Kim's Bday Party...smh

The Spokesperson for bad azz kids WAS in jail...

Lil Mama: Bad Azz Dresser...

Desperate Azz Parent....

The Family That Throws Down 2Gether, Goes Down 2Gether...

NOT Bad Azz Kids...

Bad Azz Kidz Preggers With Bad Azz Kidz...

When Ghetto Bad Azz Kids Grow Up...SMDH

Jodie Sweetin (of Full House fame) No Longer A Bad Azz Child...

Miley's Going To Be Bad As Hell...

They Don't Do As We Say...They Do As We Do

This Ish Ain't Cute...

Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick-Your Child is Bad As Hell!!

No. Not My Kids...In One Week?!

Interrupting My SoapNet For My Friend , Bria