No. Not My Kids...In One Week?!

What's Up? I'm known as Not The One, cuz I'm NOT the One...ok? I'm not the one to be played the fool, made a fool of, deal with tomfoolery and all of his foolishness. I work hard, love hard, and play hard. Having said that, I created this blog for myself and parents/caretakers like myself.

For those who did their best to raise kids, but was blindsided by the STUPID AZZ choices they've made-leave a comment.

Don't tripp...just talk.

Son

Let me tell you what happened to me...with BOTH of my kids this week...and it's all true

This past Monday, while I'm at work, my son's father called me.

He advised me that my SEVENTEEN YR OLD SON, was picked up for shoplifting.

I asked him...'what son?'

Not hard to deduce the son he was talking about since I have only have 1 son.

smdh

He went on to tell me that wasn't the first time the little klepto used his

'5-finger discount' AT WAL-MART.

No! MY CHILD WOULDN'T DO THAT!

Ohhhhh yes he did!!

In addition to paying a fine, his azz is also banned from Wal-Mart's for FIVE YEARS.

*silence*

*crickets cricketing*

*breath slowly returns*

Nawww my child wouldn't do no ish like that.

Well, apparently he would AND DID do some ish like that.

smh

The worse part?

The lil nicca has not one ounce of remorse!!

Wonder if he would like this punishment: click here

It's agreed that his azz will have to pay his own fine or he goes to jail.

I'll be damned if he said he'll just have to go to jail.

Nicca I oughta---
One mo' year...and he's out the door.

Daughter

Anywayz onto my 20 y/o daughter...

I picked my daughter up from her job around 12:15 am, right?

No prob.

I go in my room and jump on my laptop.

All's kool & the gang.

Until...I hear my gas stove go tick-tick tick

I stopped typing to listen.

Maybe she's goin out and is goin to press her hair before she leaves.

But i don't hear her put a pressing comb on the stove.

I resume typing, and again i hear

tick tick tick

No pressing comb.

Now my mind is thinking.

The ONLY damn time a stove did that, was when I was lighting up a cigarrette.

Oh helll nawwww...My Child Wouldn't Do that!

Seriously.

My home is for non-smokers.

And hell, my child doesn't even smoke.

And to prove it, I'm goin to pry my azz away from the computer and prove it to myself.

I open up my daughter's door and SHE JUMPS as if she saw a damn poltergeist!

'Dang mama, u scared me.'

'uh-huh...babygirl --'

*sniff, sniff*

'why the f*ck does this room smell like smoke?'

'No it doesn't'

*maybe i'm paranoid-it's possible*

I step into my hallway and get a whiff of my Glade Linen plug-in, and then step back into her roon.

*Oh HELL FU*K NAWWW...this mofo is smoking!

My child woudln't do that....OH YES THE HELL SHE WILL CUZ HER ROOM SMELLS LIKE SMOKE!*

Now...i'm ballistic and throwing stuff around...WHERE IS IT? WHERE'S THE ASHTRAY--she is still denying smoking...

I'm looking at the room-she's got candles burning like she's either catholic or a damn palm reader-WTH???

But one thing for certain, 2 for sure...

I'M NO FOOL.

I screamed at her and tell me to give me the ashtray-and what does she produce??

She extinguished a damn cigarette in one of my soup bowls!

ok...can u say reflex???

Cuz I IMMEDIATELY SLAPPED PISS FIRE OUT OF HER...


I am NOT promoting violence-didn't I say it was reflex?!

I could not believe my daughter would not only fuggin smoke...but fuggin smoke in my house...WITH ME IN THE NEXT ROOM.
How disrespectful can a muthapucka be??

she then told me she smokes at work etc.
My own MAMA can't smoke in my home..her knees are riddled with arthritis, but she goes down the stairs and outside to smoke...out of respect for me. But my daughter can't?? or better yet ...won't??


Ohhhhh I'm NOT THE ONE, OK?
Also...

For the past 2-3 weeks she's been coming home and leaving back out at 1:30-2am and coming late the next day.

Ok...ain't nothin open at that time of night but 7-11 and legs, and since she ain't came back with a Big Gulp...I already know what's happening.

*not my daughter pic b'low*

Yep...ur grown.

And when ur grown and want to do what the hell u want to do...u gotta go.

I looked her dead in her eye and said GET OUT.

Cuz I'm not goin thru this everyday/night.

The nicca u've been running to every night needs to come pick u up.

U can smoke, screw, get drunk etc til your heart's content.

But u gotta get outta my house.

My daughter has left-and I have peace.

My son is next.

This all happened this week within 2 days.

You wanna find out how grimey your kids are??
Utter the words...'Uh-uh...MY KIDS WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!

Sheeeeeeeeeiitttttt...u wanna bet?

What's on your mind boos???

-Not the One

*images from Google Images-used for reference and are not my actual bad azz kids!*