Well I be...
Lemme first say...TOP RAMEN NOODLES R FROM DA DEBBIL! DA' ADVRSARRY IS DOIN ALLL HE CAN TO RUIN BIG MA'S BABIES! I bind up the spirit of Ramen Noodles and all itz unholy flavas!! I rebuke them to the pitz of noodle hell!!
I believe down to my innards that they pump those noodles plum full of preserves, adds and hormonals.
Have u seen how big these chirren are these days??
My my my my my!
OHHHH LAWWWWD...I'm believin in your promises, but my spirit is soooo vexed.
Just when it seems that Linzee girl, has gotten her life straightened up
*although... her new boyfriend looks alot like a bony lil' girl. He could use a plate of Big MaMa's smothered pork chops, fried cabbage, rice, sliced tomatoes and onions, home made cornbread, glass of lemon iced tea, sweet potato pie, and---what was Big MaMa talkin' about agin??--
that's right, Linzee yunga sista has picked up the be-ton and run off wit' it.
*ohhhhh chile, Big Mama is really into da O-limpiks*
When I look at lil Ali's chest in that there pitcha on the lef side, well it's a chess-like lil girls her age have.
But my word *fannin myself* lil Ali, is not sooo lil anymore.
U know I useta have a shape like that.
mmmhmmm yes I did.
Big Mama had alll the gentlemen callers come a callin' for me...oh that's anotha story...
Cuz Big MaMa knows in her heart of hearts, lil Ali
(that's awful nice of her mama, White Oprah to name her child after the best negro fighta in America! theyz some fine people, those lowdownHans!)
did not partake in surgery and have water balloons put in her chess like those sorry women who iz trying to get a man do!
Did you know she is only 14?
mmmmmm...community-it's time for a boycott.
I say we boycott the Top Ramen Noodle peoplez, so they can stop makin our chirren grow too fast!
Ok babies, Big MaMa has to go now. I have to send a 9-11 e-mergen-c email to my Artha club so we can pray. All of us with diffrent cases of artharitis get together-as long as it ain't rainin'-and talks about Artha's behind ackin' up!
He's a mess!
Anyhooo, Big MaMa has to call her Artha club so we can prayz while rubbin in our Ben Gayz cream in our joints.
Yes, the lawd is the balm of gilead,
and ben gayz is the balm for our joints!
Now Big MaMa has got ta go now...but remember babies, Big Mama loves u.
And rememmber-ain't no bad azz kids, those are just the kids who ain't beenz to Big MaMa's house yet.
love you, babies.
byebye!
source
I believe down to my innards that they pump those noodles plum full of preserves, adds and hormonals.
Have u seen how big these chirren are these days??
My my my my my!
OHHHH LAWWWWD...I'm believin in your promises, but my spirit is soooo vexed.
Just when it seems that Linzee girl, has gotten her life straightened up
*although... her new boyfriend looks alot like a bony lil' girl. He could use a plate of Big MaMa's smothered pork chops, fried cabbage, rice, sliced tomatoes and onions, home made cornbread, glass of lemon iced tea, sweet potato pie, and---what was Big MaMa talkin' about agin??--
that's right, Linzee yunga sista has picked up the be-ton and run off wit' it.
*ohhhhh chile, Big Mama is really into da O-limpiks*
When I look at lil Ali's chest in that there pitcha on the lef side, well it's a chess-like lil girls her age have.
But my word *fannin myself* lil Ali, is not sooo lil anymore.
U know I useta have a shape like that.
mmmhmmm yes I did.
Big Mama had alll the gentlemen callers come a callin' for me...oh that's anotha story...
Cuz Big MaMa knows in her heart of hearts, lil Ali
(that's awful nice of her mama, White Oprah to name her child after the best negro fighta in America! theyz some fine people, those lowdownHans!)
did not partake in surgery and have water balloons put in her chess like those sorry women who iz trying to get a man do!
Did you know she is only 14?
mmmmmm...community-it's time for a boycott.
I say we boycott the Top Ramen Noodle peoplez, so they can stop makin our chirren grow too fast!
Ok babies, Big MaMa has to go now. I have to send a 9-11 e-mergen-c email to my Artha club so we can pray. All of us with diffrent cases of artharitis get together-as long as it ain't rainin'-and talks about Artha's behind ackin' up!
He's a mess!
Anyhooo, Big MaMa has to call her Artha club so we can prayz while rubbin in our Ben Gayz cream in our joints.
Yes, the lawd is the balm of gilead,
and ben gayz is the balm for our joints!
Now Big MaMa has got ta go now...but remember babies, Big Mama loves u.
And rememmber-ain't no bad azz kids, those are just the kids who ain't beenz to Big MaMa's house yet.
love you, babies.
byebye!
source
Young person, I assure you every word I speak-is truth. For I am, 
f.k.a. Big MaMa
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